Is it easier to love an idea than a person?

Think, maybe, it is sometimes easier to love an idea than a person?  Not entirely certain ... Still rolling this notion around in my sleep-deprived head.  We'll see how the arguments --for and against-- settle out ...

Love Is ...

Image Source

LOVE IS


Love is not a person,
          A place ...
Love is not a thing.
Love is not a shiny ring.
Love is not a bitter sting.
Love lies in the act
          Of Forgiveness
          And in the fleeting moments
          That make your heart want to sing.
Love is an everyday embracing
          Way of Life ....
          A way through all external strife.
It's found in surrounding those
         Who are present, in the moment,
          On your journey through this Life
         With unconditional YOU.
Love is simple.
Love simply is ...
         A gift bestowed unto us from up
         Above, that we may go forth
         And shower this world with His eternal LOVE.


@Copyrighted Poem (to be published), 2011. All Rights Reserved: Isabelle Black Smith.

12/10/2011 ... Well a friend of mine feels that my thinking here is naive ... that Love is so much more complicated.  I think that perhaps my friend confuses Passion with Love.  Passion, in my humble opinion, is an entirely different animal altogether and a decidedly more complex one at that.  I think that this poem just expresses a need that I have these days to simplify and get back to basics.  I think that this poem expresses Love in its purest form: that we are vessels for radiating God, Our Creator's Love out into the world.  I mean, it's as if I've been full circle with Love ... born into the light, traveled through the darkness and now it seems ... after this long and rather tumultuous journey ... that I've arrived right back where I started from.  As I said a few weeks back in my post on "Rain" ...

"... I am amazed at the circular nature of life, truth and personal experiences .... that often what we seek lies at the end of a circular journey and only when we round the last of the journey do we begin to see that light and dark, supreme hope and utter despair, love and hate, ecstasy of joy and the abysmal depths of sadness often go hand in hand. We must first experience the darker one in order to be resurrected to savor the other."


And going full circle ... seeing the full evolution of Love and arriving back at the beginning is very liberating.  It bestows upon you an indescribable peace and that is a good place to be.  So that's all that I was trying to express in this simple poem.  Sometimes, simple is all you need right?

Never-ending Quest for the Missing Piece ...

Do you ever feel as if an important message ... a missing piece or part of you yet to be unlocked ... is waiting for you buried within a book, a poem, a piece of ART ... a conversation with a stranger?  And you have to find it:  you're fueled by an inner burning desire to experience it, unlock it, before you can move forward in your life? And sometimes, when you are fortunate enough to make the connections to unlock a missing piece: you are utterly overwhelmed by a profound sense of oneness with the larger universe as a whole ... with the source of energy that unites us all.

"Descent From Heaven"

@Copyrighted Photo, 2011.  All Rights Reserved: Isabelle Black Smith.
(other cemetery photos on my flickr site)

I don't know how anyone can ever find the time to be bored?!  There is just way too much to see, do and experience on our quest to unlock the mysteries of this journey we call life.  ... I am deliriously tired now, I should try to unwind and sleep for at least a few hours.  In the arms of my angel, perhaps I will find some peaceful sleep this night?


12/12/2011 ... While driving today it occurred to me that I'm always saying "Peace & Love" to everyone.  To me, those are the things that make you happy ... help you survive in life.  So I want to wish those blessings for others in their own lives as well.  "Peace & Love" is just my shortened way of wishing the latter for others ... or so I thought?  But there might just be a bit more to this saying of mine ... Starting with my fascination with photographing cemeteries in the spring of 2010 (which my family was thought was really odd and creepy) a friend of mine pointed out that a big part of me wanted to "rest in peace" ... not to die, but to find peace for a painful part ... parts ... of my life.  Well photographing cemeteries is where I happened to come across this enchanting statue in the photograph above.  There is something about this statue that just speaks to me ... I keep coming back to her again and again.  And today, for some reason ... tired as I was ... it just clicked that what this statue means to me and what I was searching so desperately in my own life was "Peace in Love." It's not Peace and Love as separate entities ... it's that the way to find peace is through Love.  All of these ideas finally began to come together when I wrote my poem (in the subsequent post), "Love Is".  Well, I just needed to document this revelation for myself somewhere.  Maybe it will make sense to those who read here ... maybe it won't?  As I always say:  the universe (God our Creator) works in mysterious ways.

In Sum ...   "Peace & Love" <==> "Peace in Love"  ... So now when I say this to you, you will understand and more fully comprehend my blessing and sincerest wish for you in your life, this day and all of the days to follow.

1/20/2018 After seven years of struggle and contemplation, I finally figured it out.  In order to find peace in love, you must forgo the illusion that there is in fact any such thing as romantic love.  There aren't different kinds of love; there is only one kind of love and it is universal, all encompassing.  There is no you, no me, no past, no future.  There is no TIME, there is only this moment and we are all one.  In this light, I can let go of my need for more and release the idea of you to the universal whole.  In this moment, the only one that truly matters, I simply am .....

Shelter From the Storm ...

Peaceful ... beautiful day outside today ...

Not a storm cloud in sight ... the sun's warmth penetrates and dispells inner darkness ...

... I wonder, if perhaps, it's easier to empathize with others weathering their own storms ... when you, yourself, have moved beyond fighting your own inner storm?   If nothing else ... I can pray for peace in the lives of those that I love ...



Song:  'Knockin' on Heaven's Door', By Bob Dylan

Song::  'Shelter From the Storm', By Bob Dylan




P.S.  So good to catch up on your news tonight Monica.  Will pray that the job that is right for you is the one that comes your way.  I have a good feeling for you!  : )  God Bless!

On Soul Mates ...

After reflecting on the dreams that I was having -- three nights in a row, starting on Aug. 7 -- and the poem that came about as a result of those dreams ("The Hunter's Moon"): I've begun to question my notions abouts soul mates. I haven't completely gotten there yet, but I am thinking that perhaps a soul mate might just be someone with whom we seem to feel, and share, a very strong spiritual connection. And that connection does not always have to manifest itself in a physical or romantic way. In that line of thinking then, perhaps there can be more than one soul mate for each person. I guess, I'm getting to the point where I am ready to shed the limiting notion that a soul mate has to necessarily be a better, or other, half of someone: a unique counterpart.

I'm still reflecting on these thoughts. I'll let you know when, and if, I finish processing these possibilities ...

The dynamics in my life have been have been all over the place lately. That makes it harder to tune in to what I'm truly feeling. Still, I'm getting there. I'm hopeful and peace is slowly returning, day by day.

Have good one!

God Bless!

M

P.S. Also trying to figure out what this song means to me; it came on my mp3 player as I was mulling over thoughts on soul mates ... Any thoughts?

Song: The Space Between, By the Dave Matthews Band

Confusing song?!

Words That Speak to Me ...

The Shadow, By Edmund Blair Leighton

(courtesy of http://www.artmagick.com/)

[She cannot love the man, so she loves his shadow instead.]

Over the weekend, I found some time to read from a book of famous quotations ("Familiar Quotations", By John Bartlett). This book was given to me by the parents of my best friend at the time, Mary, as a 'graduation' gift from junior high.

At the time of receiving this gift, I surveyed the massive volume (1,750 pages) and thought to myself: "Wow! That's a BIG book. Whatever am I going to do with it?"  I flipped through the pages "Bartlett's Familiar Quotations" that day, barely understanding what I was attempting to read -- not so much the vocabulary as the wisdom and meaning of the verse contained within. Since that time, so very long ago --then with starry-wide eyes of innocent youth-- I have spent many enjoyable hours perusing, savoring and digesting this 'BIG book', tome.   Each year that I read from this treasured volume's pages, I seem to  come to a greater understanding of the wisdom, and more recently the wit and sense of humor, contained within its many pages.   It seems as if we've grown-up with one another, this big book and me, so to speak?  Though, perhaps I'm not quite as "starry-eyed" these days?  From the Bible and the Koran, to the early Greeks and Romans, Chaucer, Milton, Cervantes, Dante and Shakespeare, to wisdom our founding forefathers, and even Confucius:  this book contains a wealth of insight that is as relevant today, as the day that it was written not so seemingly long ago.

As I happened to be flipping carefully through my treasured book over the weekend, my fingers settled rather decisively upon a section containing the works of the wordsmith William Shakespeare. One of Master Shakespeare's more prominent sonnets, Sonnet 116, captured the attention of my aching heart. Shakespeare's words spoke especially to me at this particular time in my life and so here they are for you to share.  Perhaps this particular sonnet is a favorite of yours as well?

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no!  It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never
shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his
height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips
and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass
come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and
weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of
doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd. "

~William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
 

Knowing what I want is the important part of the 'Battle' ...

To my surprise, and relief, last night was a good night. Despite what some might say, I’m a firm believer in the notion that “absence does make the heart grow fonder.” Time apart had given both Ken and I some perspective.

The weekend gave Ken and I the time, and energy, to reconnect over an evening game of chess. Afterwards, we reminisced over old times --before we knew one another-- on subject of life in the military: Ken having served in the Army (to pay for his college) and me growing up in an Air Force military family, perpetually on the move. We shared how these experiences had shaped our lives for better and worse. I can’t honestly remember the last time that we had truly talked, about more than the upcoming college football season or what was going on with the kids, or at work. I can't remember the last time that we talked about us. It was good to laugh, to listen and to be heard. (Ken’s not much of talker, but I so need that – to converse with others -- to connect to something outside of me, something larger than me.)

Despite having to get up afterwards to do the dishes and chase the kids into bed, I felt refreshed. As I was washing the dishes, my middle daughter came to me with a complaint about how her wrist hurt when she bent it a funny way. I laughed, and with soapy hands I gave her a kiss upon the forehead. Then, I simply said – as all parents have at some point: “Well if it hurts, stop doing that?!” Reassured that she would, in fact, be alright, Bethany walked away with a silly smile. As I plunged my hands back into the dish water, I thought to myself: “Now, how would the advice that I just gave Bethany apply to my life, right here and now?”

I don’t know if you have noticed? But I haven’t been happy lately and “peace has eluded me”, as I said just yesterday. So for a brief moment, I thought: “I haven’t been happy lately, doing what I’ve been doing, so why shouldn’t I just stop doing it?!” It felt good to express that thought for a brief moment, but then I thought: “But, I’m not a child. I’m a grow woman, a grown-up, and sometimes in life, being a grown-up means making hard choices and working through some hard stuff"– really hard!

I’m living proof of the fact that that which does not kill you, does actually make you stronger – a little quirkier, perhaps, but stronger nonetheless. So I thought to myself: “If I just give up now, throw in the towel and walk away, how does that make me stronger, and more importantly: who else gets hurt in the process?” Now, if I had asked myself this same question yesterday, or even earlier in the day today, I would most certainly not have been as objective ( I had not slept well in over two nights and sadness was weighing me down). But a day of relative “peace and quiet”, at home with family, and reconnecting with Ken – on some level – had renewed me and improved my perspective.

From this new perspective, I concluded that -- allowing myself some slack to go ahead and not just cry, but to be angry or sad, without feeling guilty -- I could be bent a little and grow from this experience, but more importantly, I realized that I could do this because this is truly where my heart needs to be right now. That my life and my marriage were worth fighting for. A new friend said it well, “These days, I shy away from giving specific advice. I believe that 99% of the time, people know, deep down, what they really WANT to do.” I didn’t quite get the full meaning of his words, as I read them early this morning, but upon reflecting upon them now, in the still hours of the night, I see how his words ring true. (Thanks Paul!)

Ken fought for me in a way that no one else in my life ever has or probably ever will. It is because of him that I now have a life that has been filled with love and laughter, much of which to my surprise has been my own – which I never would have believed was possible in my twenties (see my July entry, titled ‘What’s the Hardest Thing in Life’). The idea of finding solace elsewhere, I will have to admit, did appeal to me for a brief time. The idea of something new and different, something simpler, always seems appealing in our time of pain and trial – that’s human nature, I suppose. But the novelty, once pursued, I’m confident would have quickly worn off.

So I have a plan now. I no longer feel as if I am floundering around anymore, like a wounded fish caught on a fisherman’s line, frantically trying any, and everything, to escape the pain. I’ve used my time of reflection somewhat purposefully. I’ve gotten some things off of my chest and set them free. Now, I think that I am, at last, ready to put my stake in the ground, with resolve. Knowing what I want to do is the important half of the battle. And I think that just knowing will, at long last, put me back on the path to peace once again.

And on that note, I’m off to try to get some much needed sleep. I haven’t felt much like being at church these past few weeks, but I have been having conversations with God. Perhaps tomorrow, I will feel like walking back into our church again.

Peace to you, who happen to wonder by this way.

God Bless!
M



Song: Far Away, By Nickelback

Song: If Everyone Cared, By Nickelback



"Sometimes we have to embrace the mundane in order to be present to bear witness to the magnificent; for one never knows when nor where the magnificent may strike." ~ me today, Aug. 2009

"I delight in my imperfection; For without it: there would be no point in making this journey." ~ me today, Aug. 2009

Knowing is half the battle ...

Death of Procris (courtesy of www.artmagick.com)

I've figured it out: who was calling me in my dream. It was you. Wasn't it? Knowing is half the battle, I hope. I am not sure what happens next, but I will remain quiet and just listen. My heart is open and finally ready to move forward ...

I'm not afraid anymore.

I dreamt of you again last night. This time, I could almost see your face and wonder at your name, and ... But when I awoke, I realized that I had just been dreaming and the sadness returned.

Then, today, when I was about to give up hope of ever reconnecting, I saw your art post. Your truth made me cry. I added a painting and response to my story. I would really like to reconnect with you, on whatever terms you name. As long as I've been away, I will understand if you take your time before making any decisions. Until then, I will wait patiently and perhaps see you in my dreams, from time to time.

Meanwhile ... I have bridges to repair and mend ...

I have hope once again, that is true. Hopefully, soon I will have peace ... lately, it eludes me.

My soul is weary ... I look to the night for repose.

M

Song: When the Angels Fall, Sting (courtesy of www.pauljensen.net)

Song: Mystics Dream, By Loreena McKennitt

11 Secrets Men Keep: The Truth at (long!) Last

I don't normally post twice in one day, but I just got this and it is a must read!

11 dont-tell-the-wife-secrets all men keep
(there are 4 pages ... read them all!)


In Summary here are the 11 Secrets (but you really need to read the article to have these make sense and get the big picture):

"Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you

Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you

Secret #3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you

Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important

Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house

Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother

Secret #7: Every year we love you more

Secret #8: We don't really understand what you're talking about

Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive

Secret #10: We'll always wish we were 25 again

Secret #11: Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime "

["11 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep", WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine, By Ty Wenger.]



You have to give the guys that "confessed" in this article a whole heck of a lot of credit for being honest. Wish more men would do this! It would save us all a lot of heartache ...

And I have sent Ken on many trips without me -- skiing, because we had kids and couldn't get (or afford) a sitter and I knew that he needed a break. I don't think that he would ever reciprocate though? But, to be fair: I haven't asked either.

Anyway, read this. Print it out or commit it to memory. It may just save your marriage/relationship. Sometimes the truth hurts, but at least you know where you stand.



8/4/09 I guess that I always knew most of this on some level. Number 9, 'Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive', nearly had me rolling on the floor laughing. Guess I knew that that was true too, cause I can see Ken's eyes rolling around behind his sun glasses when I drive. In my defense though: I have not had a speeding ticket or accident in over 15 years. I drive a lot more defensively since having the added responsibility of my three precious children in the car. No more switching drivers, while careening down the road at 88+ m.p.h. on a lone stretch of Texas highway -- remember that one Aimless?

I like guys and I respect them. They are definitely wired different than women; they are pretty simple and straightforward. I like that about men: what you see is what you get. No head games, no back stabbing, gossiping or 'what have you done for me lately' crap. With the exception of friends that I kept in touch with from high school, all of my friends from college were guys -- of course the fact that 90 to 100% of the people in my engineering classes were guys may have had something to do with that. Most of those friendships have ended since being married, but that is part of the give and take of marriage I guess.

Bottom line is: "Men and women are different: PERIOD! Get over it and get out of my head woman." Yes, Ken's never been much of a talker, but after  several years of marriage: I've come to accept that about him. Still, his being open and able to talk would have made things easier for me when crunch time came around in our own marriage. But I love him! When you love someone: you take the good with the bad. Lord knows he puts up with a lot of 'bad' from me too.

My new motto (based on years of having to eat my 'I'll never do that' words (e.g., drive a mini-van, have more than one kid, etc.) is: Never Say Never!

I think that the definition of marriage should be: 'Caution: work in progress.' : )

P.S. The headache has finally subsided -- thanks be to God! And I did not have coffee today, either. So I'm being faithful to my pledge to give up coffee -- yesterday's singular lapse aside. More power to those struggling with their own similar resolutions -- whatever they may be. God Bless!

Song: Feeling Good, By Nina Simone

Do You Believe in Soul Mates?

Awesome Butterfly Photo By, Pavel Potocek
(These two photos by me)

Lauren and I are both old souls. She is a late night owl (like me) and she says the most profound things during some of our late night -- insomniac -- movie nights. The other night, she asked me: "Do you believe in soul mates?" Kind of caught me off guard, especially coming from one so young -- biologically speaking, anyway. I didn't know what to say, right off the bat?!

So I said: "I believe in the possibility of soul mates. But more than likely, there are several people that any one person can love in a given lifetime, given different circumstances. God makes us resilient in that respect. Besides, we're all connected somehow anyway; some pieces are just a better fit than others. You just have to keep an open heart and mind, and trust that God will lead you to meet the person, or persons, that you've got a strong connection with -- and hopefully, you'll meet them at the right time for you to be open to letting them into your life. There are a lot of variables."

Then I added, "But you have lots, and lots, of time to worry about that. Just enjoy the freedom of being a child for now; growing up comes soon enough!" And I threw a sofa pillow at her just to make sure that she'd lighten up and enjoy just being a kid for now -- and her freedom.


Here is some extra reading if you're in the mood and happen to like butterflies ...

'Two Butterlies Went Out at Noon', Poem By, Emily Dickenson

Love Story of the two Butterflies

Song: Over the Rainbow, By Eva Cassidy

P.S. Today is a hard day. Day two of a migraine. I have a confession to make: I broke down and had a half cup of coffee. I can't take headache pain medicine with my stomach right now -- and it doesn't work anyway. Coffee helps my migraines, so I figured, after a day of suffering: I'd have some coffee. I have a life to live and people counting on me. No time for being down. Hopefully, this will be a one time deal. I quit cold turkey, after all ...

We're All Connected ...

We're all searching for a connection and the funny thing is that we are all connected. Go figure?

When you have someone to love and others that love you in return: you have witnesses to your life. You have a whole new dimension of meaning and purpose.

So today: Slow down, unplug, and make a connection. Acknowledge the ties that bind us to one another and be set "free."

Love truly can give you wings!


PJP ~ "Peace, joy, prosperity ..."

P.S. Spend some time with your kids. It doesn't have to be a big pre-arranged meeting with other kids and moms/dads outside of the house. They just want to spend some time with you! Read a book or play one of their games. Go for a walk together. Get down to there level and just have some fun!

My kids had a half day a week ago and we were going to have a game day (i.e., monopoly, uno, checkers, Nintendo, etc.). Instead we wound up having a treasure hunt resembling "Night at the Museum" (movie) and "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider". We turned Dad's pool room into ancient Egypt. The kitchen was a rainforest. The Den was the Old Wild West. It was a blast! Kids are so creative and have such wonderful imaginations. "Outside of the box" is what they do best. We found the treasure in the oven just in time make dinner. : )

That Special Someone?

Dear Oprah,

I have a wonderful friend. She is the sweetest person I have EVER met in my entire life! She is so honest, genuine, giving and caring to others. Monica has a wonderful personality, a great sense of humor, and she really listens to what others have to say.

Monica comes from a family of 6 children. She has an
older brother and 4 younger sisters. She is now 40
and celebrated the wedding of the last sister -- aside from herself -- in March of this past year, 2006. That sister, Eileen, is now pregnant and expecting a baby in February 2007. (Eileen is a close friend of mine too!)

Monica would make a wonderful mother, and she is
truly happy for her sister, Eileen, but I can tell that Monica is sad -- on the inside -- that she has not yet found a special somebody. She doesn't say it, but I can tell that she wonders -- at this point -- if she ever will find her special someone in time to have children and a family of her own.

Monica has tried numerous "dating services," but nothing has ever gone beyond a first date. Monica is a beautiful woman, but she doesn't take a lot of time to care for herself. Others and myself have tried to lovingly suggest that she try fixing her hair this way or that … or wear a bit of mascara, etc. She just laughs and says I have an allergy to this make-up or that, and I don't have the time, etc. No one really has the heart to just lay it on the line and say that she needs to spend more time on her appearance. I mean looks shouldn't really matter?

One night -- after Eileen's wedding -- my husband and I were talking about Monica, and in the course of the conversation: he says that as sweet as Monica is: "there has to be an initial spark ... a physical attraction that gets you beyond that first date ... that's just how guys are." Then he suggested that I "get her on the Oprah Show."

So here I am -- thanks to my insightful husband -- writing to you, Oprah, to see if you and the Oprah Show can help Monica to find a voice for the inner beauty, that shines so brightly, by helping her to show her outer beauty.

I've attached two recent photos of Monica:
1) the first is of Monica at her sister's wedding, where Eileen has had Monica's hair and make-up done for her (ABOVE:TOP CENTER) ;

2) The second is the normal everyday Monica: the face she shows the world ... a face that is beyond beautiful to those of us who know and love her, but one that is lacking in self-confidence to outsiders (TOP RIGHT).

Monica has a B.S. in Psychology and a Master's degree in Sociology. She works long and hard hours with underprivileged and challenged children in the XXXXXXXX public school system. Monica gives so much so others it would be nice to give something back to her and set her on the path to find her special someone.

Let me know if you can help me to help a wonderful friend and person who truly makes this world a better place to be: Monica!

The One You Love ...

"When you're with the one you love you feel as if you could fly ..."
~ From the movie "Hitch"

Seems silly to be quoting a movie, but it is so true.

I guess you wouldn't know it unless you've experienced it.
But I have and it so true!
If you haven't found it: keep looking! It's out there, somewhere.

I am truly a better person, and I enjoy life more fully than I ever would've on my own. Thanks to the love of my life, my husband.

As Sarah McLachlan says in "Push", from her album "Afterglow"..

"Every time I look at you the world just melts away.
All my trouble all my fears dissolve in your affections.
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am.
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land."

I love you, Ken. More and more each day. Our love seems endless, without bounds?

~M