Friday, April 27, 2012

Chasing Butterflies, Ladybugs & Sleep ...

I have just discovered a new 'natural' sleep aid.  It is called "Deep Sleep" and it is made from extract of California Poppy.  I was skeptical at first, because most natural sleep aids have little effect on me.  They make me drowsy and sometimes take the edge off, but my natural instinct is to fight sleep ... so they usually don't help me to actually sleep.  The latter aside, I am willing to try new things because I don't like taking medicines of any sort --especially sleeping pills-- long term. 

So I gave this "Deep Sleep", natural sleep aid  a try.  It takes awhile to kick in, but when it does it knocks you out.  It kept me out for a good 6 hours, which is a good night of sleep for me.  It took me awhile to shake off the grogginess afterwards too, but maybe my body just needs to get used to this new input?  I need to do some more research on this form of sleep aid.  I mean don't they make hard core drugs from poppies?  Opium, heroin?  So I have to wonder if taking this sleep aid will have detrimental side effects in the long run?  But in the meantime, I may see some nights with more than 3 (or zero) hours of sleep --and zero seems to be my norm of late-- in my immediate future.  I guess that's something, right??????

Photo of my own feet shortly?

I love poppies ... always have.  Used to love running barefoot through fields of these, in Northern California, chasing after butterflies and lady bugs =) ... So perhaps it is fitting that poppies are now enabling me to find peace in the form of restful, regenerative sleep.

Here's a song that seems to go rather well with chasing butterflies, sleep or whatever you may be after.  This song has such an upbeat whimsical, almost child-like innocence to it, from my perspective ... Have a fabulous weekend, ya'll!


Song: "Wax & Wire", By Loch Lomond

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Reminiscing ...

Change of pace.  No deep thoughts or soul searching tonight.  Reminiscing with an old album tonight ... Yes, I should be sleeping, I know.  Did some Admin stuff for my group.  Wrote for awhile and finally caught the tale-end of a movie that I keep missing.  Stinks not to know how a movie ends, right?  Anyhow, I'm too tired to read ... so I thought I'd try getting lost in music to see if that winds me down for sleep.  Don't feel like taking sleeping pills tonight ....

Here's the album I'm getting in lost in:  Toad the Wet Sprocket, album "Fear".  Great group! I love their lyrical ballads.  This was a favorite of mine in my college days.  Only one song I don't like on the whole album.  Bet you can guess which one?  Maybe, if I would let myself listen to it objectively, I might see this song in a different light?  Nope ... don't think I can be objective in this case ...

Well, here is one of my favorites songs off of this album, "Something to Say" ...

Love this song.  Says to me: you can talk ... we can talk, dancing in circles all night, but when you're ready to cut the 'crap' and show me the real you:  then we've finally got something to say.

Well enjoy ... Nite, and hopefully some sweet dreams will follow.  But I guess, if you never had any bad dreams how would you have a reference to be able to appreciate the good dreams when, and if, they come your way? ... Just wish I wasn't still so afraid of the power of my bad dreams to hurt me ...

Song: "Pray your gods", "All I Want", "Walk on the Ocean"

Saturday, April 21, 2012

"I just got LOST ..."

"I just got lost.  Every river that I tried to cross ..."  A great song, titled: "Lost", By Coldplay. I think that many in today's world can relate to the ideas behind this song. So what is the secret to being happy on our journey through this world?

For me the secret to staying sane and happy --in the moment-- is to approach life from the standpoint that 'ME' is a very fluid, ever-evolving concept.  I've found that LINES --whether of my own 'artistry' or by the acceptance of those drawn by others in the world around me-- only serve to weigh me down at best and drag me down, to slowly drown, in a worst case scenario. 

If 'ME' is fluid, it kind of forces me to live and experience LIFE in the moment, to slow down and savor the here and now ... I don't have to worry about being contained by that nagging voice  reel running through my head that endlessly wonders "why? or how? or when?" (e.g., ' I going to get here or there and when?').

If 'ME' is ever-evolving, I remain open to being led by the unseen forces --fate, destiny, seredipity, angels? ... or whatever you happen to believe in--  that bring the unexpected, often good and wonderful things, our way ... my eyes and heart are open to seeing others outside of me as intergral parts to the whole and I can accept that I'm not THE CENTER of everything, but I do have a part to play. I can learn and grow from my mistakes instead of letting them define me.

I'm not so sure that "success in the eyes of the world" truly is the key to happiness.  There seem to be a heck of a lot of lines and hoops to jump through if you sign up for that route.  I don't know, you know me:  always coloring outside the lines ... I'm searching for an alternate route ; ) with some 'flying' along the way and I've  never equated 'success' with materialism.  Seems you're setting yourself up for a fall if you buy into that load of ???? .... The less I own: the freer I am in a spiritual sense, I think.  Of course, every once in awhile, the world with its materialistic bias gets angry with me for not playing by its rules and gifts me a black eye ... but I'm tough and it eventually heals. 

You know sitting here right now --with what I've just written above-- I think that I finally truly understand that saying based on the Bible verse "The first shall be last and the last shall be first." [Matthew 20:16]  I guess, if you're so busy pursuing what it takes to be 'first in the eyes of the world', you're probably likely neglecting the spiritual aspects of your life which will advance you in the next.  And as such, when it comes time to punch your spiritual ticket with points in the after-life for the journey to the next, those who were always first on Earth probably won't be moving up much, if any, in the line of seating preferences. Sadly, I don't think they'll be any upgrades available to purchase in this instance.

Hard work and determination are a given in this world.  I don't think that we should just sit back and wait for life to be handed to us.  We are entitled to pursue our own "Life, liberty and happiness", the operative word here being 'pursuit' ... meaning we have an active role in participation. You have to put a roof over your head, food on the table and provide for your families, but you do have choices about the way that you will choose to do this. Therein lies your power to have some control over opportunities for spiritual growth. Happiness is what you make it: It's ALL a matter of perspective.  So maybe if life doesn't seem to be working for you right now: it's time to change your perspective ... even if it's only for a little while.  Think that's why God invented vacations ; ) ... even if 'vacation' is just taking an afternoon off to go for a drive, a walk or picnic in the park ... just do something that you love.

Well whatever you do, remember that:  Life is an adventure ... Make sure you stop --at least once in awhile-- and ENJOY THE RIDE!!!  Happiness is what you make it, right?

And if you feel LOST and empty, maybe it's time to stop focusing on yourself for awhile and focus on those around you.  When I am hurting the most, I find that by reaching out to and listening to others, to share what little I have with them, truly changes my perspective and gives me back my wings ... but maybe that's just me? ... To my way of thinking, if you want to make a difference in the world: try making it one person at a time and just watch the ripples of ♥Peace and Love♥ that you will create.

With the latter in mind, here is a poem I wrote awhile back that pretty much sums up my philosophy on LIFE.  Well, it's what works for me : )

"Descending Heaven's Steps"
@Copyrighted Photograph: All Rights Reserved.

"Take My Hand and Walk With Me Awhile"

I stand here before you, empty of hand.
Alas, I have nothing tangible to offer.
No past that I can rightly cling to as being my own.
No future to hold onto, nor reason for my being,
Save this here ... this now ... this thought
And a simple wish:
That peace of body, mind and spirit be intertwined
In the momentary making of this knowing that is me.

Ever changing, never fixed, I wonder as I wander
Through this journey, we call "life",
Waiting to be woven into the transitory purpose at hand.
Clear of mind, free of spirit, pure of heart,
I strive only to see the beauty that abounds.
I am an empty vessel waiting to be filled.
Take my hand and walk with me awhile ...

@Copyrighted Poem, 2010. All Rights Reserved: Isabelle Black Smith.

P.S.  It took me nearly a year to figure out why this statue only has one hand.  That's when this poem fell into place.  The statue only has one hand, because I give the other to you ... whoever you may be as I cross your path, in the moment unfolding at hand.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Power of LOVE: Hope for Mankind ...

I have been thinking a lot about Death lately, for personal reasons. I just feel the circle of the dance with Death closing its distance upon me for some reason. But no worries:  I am not afraid of Death. He and I are old friends. … Anyhow, I guess, that my thoughts on Death were enhanced by the celebration of Easter and contemplating Jesus’s willingness to die, on the cross, for our sins.

Jesus's willingness to die for our sins:  that is truly some gift to give to bestow upon mankind, is it not? And clearly, this was not a gift bestowed because of our worthiness, but rather it was a gift given of pure selflessness … bestowed for no other rather reason than sheer and unconditional ♥LOVE ♥ .

… “Unconditional”… I wonder how many of us can honestly say that we apply this criteria to our dealings with others in our own lives? With everything that is going on in the world today, all of the chaos, sin and corruption. Sometimes, I wonder what it would take to “save” the world today? What about just saving a piece of the world in some small way? I wonder, if I were called to give my life as a sacrifice to save the lives of others –even just a few lives … maybe even the lives of total strangers—would I be willing answer this call? Would you?

After much thought and contemplation, I think, I can honestly say that I would be willing to sacrifice my own life … even if it would change or save just one life. I guess, at my core, I have a unyielding belief in man’s capacity for good ... and this despite everything that I have been through in my own life.

Well maybe reading these thoughts gives you HOPE for this world of ours after all?  There are good people in this world, and I’d like to think that the good people outnumber the bad influences and corruption. Maybe that’s naive, but I like to look at it as having Hope for mankind. Maybe Hope and Faith (and alot of prayer!), tide you over until the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power … And a wise man once said: 

“When the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power,
    then the world will know true Peace.” ~Jimi Hendrix

Now that would be SOME WORLD to live in ...

P.S.  In case you were wondering my words are still flowing.  I'd say I'm about halfway through with the new novel.  Channeling this one has been quite a ride thus far.  At this rate, I could finish my write by the end of summer.  Wouldn't that be something? Well, you know me: ever hopeful ... "the hopeless dreamer" as I have often been called, but I don't mind.  I couldn't live in a world void of dreams, even if that means that the bad dreams come hand in hand with the good dreams. Joyful day ya'll! =)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


"I am nameless, faceless, Hope and Faith they are my kin ..."   ~Poetry of Life

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

TRUTH: The Chameleon ...

When I logged into Blogger today, I saw that someone had revisited an old post that I had written, awhile back, about "Established Truths" with respect to societies in general.  I had used Sting's lyrical ballad "When the Angels Fall" as the baseline for my thoughts back then. ... Anyhow, it was funny to log in here this evening and see that old post pop-up in my stats, because I had been thinking about "truth", myself, these past few days. 

I think that if LIFE has taught me anything thus far, it is that "truth", for the most part, is relative ... or as I said to a friend a fews days ago ...

"I find Truth to be an elusive entity, rather like a chameleon:  varying with the eyes of the beholder, perspective and the ravages of Time."

Thus far, I have found no "absolute truths", save one:  That there is a Divine Source, a ruling balance ... that corrects over time .... and whether we realize it or not we are, all of us, on a journey back to this source ... a Creator, if you will.  This, of course, brings to mind another great song by Sting, "Why Should I Cry for You?"

I happened to come across this intriguing photograph while pondering images for "truth" ...

Perhaps this image makes my point above?  That "Truth" is a destination ... and some of us are --understandably-- further along on our journey than others, but eventually: we're all going home. With this thought in mind, then why should I cry for you or you for me? One day we will all be HOME.

Here's the Sting song mentioned above.  I love ♥ Sting ... Such an enlighted soul, in my humble opinion. Enjoy : )

Long Version, Live Performance: "Why Should I Cry for You?", By Sting

I think a lot of people don't really understand what this song means, but it makes perfect sense to me ... "mountains of endless falling" is falling away from the ways of the world ... "over a godless sea" is putting no gods before the one true God ... "Dark Angels follow me", well that is another story: perhaps novel #3.  I think the secret to understanding this song is to listen with your heart and not your head.

Peace & LOVE to all who pass this way   ~M

P.S. I made a friend once because of the song "When The Angels Fall" ... Another "Rebel" of sorts, talented musician and photographer, fellow 'student of life'.  I miss this friend.  He's often in my thoughts and prayers, and I wish him much joy and ongoing happiness.  ♥ 

The Sting song in this post makes me think of another, long ago, friend.  The universe keeps sending him to me in bits and pieces of late --which may or may not, in fact, be him.  But the end result helps with the sum total of letting go. And I've already wished him the best time and time again, so I won't bother repeating the latter here again, save to say "Why Should I Cry For You?" and vice versa.  PJP.    ~M

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Coloring Outside Some Lines Today ...

In his opening remarks this afternoon, co-host of “The Five”, Greg Gutfeld, referred to Mitt Romney as “Obamney” in what one would assume was likely a Freudian slip. Perhaps Gutfeld’s comment/slip says it all?

And while we’re on the subject of politics, I would like to propose that the old conventional/PC ‘wisdom’:

“Never talk Religion or Politics.”

Should be amended to include “Climate Change”:

“Never talk Religion, Politics or Climate Change.”

Personally, I think ‘Climate Change’ is its own quasi-religion, with a highly political --and perhaps economic (i.e., follow the $$)-- disposition, but on the bright side … I can say ‘Climate Change’ without choking on the words. At least there is a grain of truth in this phraseology (i.e., that the climate of our beloved planet Earth is a dynamic and chaotic entity) ... And by the way, I do happen to ♥ LOVE Polar Bears.

Friday, April 06, 2012

Misfit, that is ME ...

Easter is this very weekend ... "I am not ready for Easter."  Well, that’s what my rational, thinking brain says.  My heart says, “Easter is a gift!”  You don’t have to be ‘ready’ for a gift, right?  You just accept it, embrace it … show gratitude for what you’ve been given  … And ‘Forgiveness’ that’s some awesome gift, is it not?

Perhaps, Easter serves as a reminder to each of us that we need to pass this amazing gift of ‘Forgiveness’ along to others in our lives.  I, personally, have found that forgiveness can change lives, so pass it on! I think this world could be a better place with more forgiveness.

"Misfit that is ME"
Photo By My Daughter, Bethany.

With this reflection, perhaps the misfit that is me is ready for Easter after all?  Happy Easter, ya’ll!!  May you feel our Creator’s warm embrace this Easter weekend and may Jesus’s willingness to die for our sins encourage each of us to embrace Forgiveness in our own lives.  He's not waiting for us to be 'perfect'; He'll take us just the way we are.  =)


Peace & Much Love,


"Good Friday:  Shadow of Death"
Photo By ME & EJ

P.S. Interestingly enough, it seems that Orthodox religions will celebrate Easter next weekend and not this weekend.   Maybe that's why I don't feel ready?  I'm just not spiritually in alignment with the calender of Western Christian Religions?  ... Well it's a thought .... Here's a link with additional reading on the differences between the two calenders and rationale behind each, if you're interested in knowing more.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

The Marriage of Insanity ...

Well, I'm working my way back to the Light ... Actually, my oldest just finished reading "Dr. Jeckyll" with her AP English class.  So my discussions with my daughter on the "nature of duality" kind of spun off into this reflective write, I guess.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it ; )

(I'm still searching for a better image accompaniment for this poem, I think.  I might even try to do my own photo ART render?  We shall see ... In the meantime, do check out this talented artist on Deviant Art.)

Q: After viewing this image for some time, it occurred to me that perhaps the designation of 'sanity' and 'insanity' in this image might not be so straightforward.  What do you think?  Which image represents 'sanity' to you?  What about 'insanity'?

A:  Well, after much reflection ... I think that the image on the left would have to be 'insanity' to me, because her eyes are closed. She's clearly somewhere outside this 'here and now' and the smile on her face says to me that she's happy ... blissfully ignorant, perhaps, but happy nonetheless.  The image on the right --'sanity' to me-- appears to be looking on 'insanity' with a coherent, purposeful, almost envious gaze. 

@All Rights of Original Artist Reserved.

“The Marriage of Insanity”

What is sanity,

But a thinly woven thread

Skillfully threaded

Through the needle

Of Mind’s Eye.

Taughtly pulled

And sewn through

The trappings of

Worldly life.

Endless vulnerability

To infliction by

Disordered Strife.

Would were I

All the better off

Without it,

This ‘sanity’ …

Alas to Sanity

I find myself, in


Inextricably wed.

@Copyrighted & Published Poem 2012.  All Rights Reserved: Isabelle Black Smith.

.... And I just noticed something (per my post the other day, "Blue Destiny"), this woman happens to be the color of Destiny for me: Blue. Wonder what that means (why I chose this image)? Maybe nothing?

Here's a thought for you:  Perhaps the nature of duality in its citizenry is what allows ordered societies to prosper, thrive(?) and survive?

Monday, April 02, 2012

Letting Go ... Let's Us Go?

I wonder, sometimes, if we let go of enough: will we loose our tether on this life as we know it? Is it the mere wanting which keeps us grounded and here in this now?

Well, it's just a thought.  I guess, my mind has been wandering a bit to the dark side, every now and again, these past few days.  My new write has a dark element to it.  This write is based on a dream --or rather a nightmare-- I have had on more than one occasion.  This dream really bothered me on a profound level, as part of it spoke to experiences I have had in my own life. So my current fictional write --new novel-- is an attempt to unravel this nightmare, to give it a face and to hopefully --on some level-- set it free. This dream --nightmare ... vision?-- is turning into a most intriguing sci-fi story, so I supose that's something, right? 

Is there a lesson to be learned here?  Maybe: Don't let the scary things in life weigh you down.  Instead, try to put the wind of imagination into the scarys' sails, thereby turning them into something useable, if you can. Well, that's where I'm hopefully headed. Think,  I may need to take a few days off in order to refocus on the light a bit, though.