I don't normally post twice in one day, but I just got this and it is a must read!
11 dont-tell-the-wife-secrets all men keep
(there are 4 pages ... read them all!)
In Summary here are the 11 Secrets (but you really need to read the article to have these make sense and get the big picture):
"Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you
Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you
Secret #3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you
Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important
Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house
Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother
Secret #7: Every year we love you more
Secret #8: We don't really understand what you're talking about
Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive
Secret #10: We'll always wish we were 25 again
Secret #11: Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime "
["11 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep",
WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine, By Ty Wenger.]
You have to give the guys that "confessed" in this article a whole heck of a lot of credit for being honest. Wish more men would do this! It would save us all a lot of heartache ...
And I have sent Ken on many trips without me -- skiing, because we had kids and couldn't get (or afford) a sitter and I knew that he needed a break. I don't think that he would ever reciprocate though? But, to be fair: I haven't asked either.
Anyway, read this. Print it out or commit it to memory. It may just save your marriage/relationship. Sometimes the truth hurts, but at least you know where you stand.
8/4/09 I guess that I always knew most of this on some level. Number 9, 'Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive', nearly had me rolling on the floor laughing. Guess I knew that that was true too, cause I can see Ken's eyes rolling around behind his sun glasses when I drive. In my defense though: I have not had a speeding ticket or accident in over 15 years. I drive a lot more defensively since having the added responsibility of my three precious children in the car. No more switching drivers, while careening down the road at 88+ m.p.h. on a lone stretch of Texas highway --
remember that one Aimless?
I like guys and I respect them. They are definitely wired different than women; they are pretty simple and straightforward. I like that about men: what you see is what you get. No head games, no back stabbing, gossiping or 'what have you done for me lately' crap. With the exception of friends that I kept in touch with from high school, all of my friends from college were guys -- of course the fact that 90 to 100% of the people in my engineering classes were guys may have had something to do with that. Most of those friendships have ended since being married, but that is part of the give and take of marriage I guess.
Bottom line is: "Men and women are different: PERIOD! Get over it and get out of my head woman." Yes, Ken's never been much of a talker, but after several years of marriage: I've come to accept that about him. Still, his being open and able to talk would have made things easier for me when crunch time came around in our own marriage. But I love him! When you love someone: you take the good with the bad. Lord knows he puts up with a lot of 'bad' from me too.
My new motto (based on years of having to eat my 'I'll never do that' words (e.g., drive a mini-van, have more than one kid, etc.) is: Never Say Never!
I think that the definition of marriage should be: 'Caution: work in progress.' : )
P.S. The headache has finally subsided -- thanks be to God! And I did not have coffee today, either. So I'm being faithful to my pledge to give up coffee -- yesterday's singular lapse aside. More power to those struggling with their own similar resolutions -- whatever they may be. God Bless!
