Showing posts with label Aging and Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aging and Death. Show all posts

Friday, October 19, 2012

We are none of us promised a tomorrow ....









The following is a letter I wrote to a friend this evening.   He has been having visions of his wife dying and –understandably—these visions are truly troubling for him. His wife was diagnosed and treated for both breast and ovarian cancer not long ago. She is, no doubt, in the battle of her life. But my friend's wife has such an amazing, resilient and loving spirit and she has so many people storming heaven with prayers for her. My friend, I think, is having a hard time not just dealing with the very real possibility of losing his wife, but he is also dealing with feelings of recent loss for other loved ones in his life.

I share these words with you, because I sense that they will perhaps speak to many people … Oddly enough, when I read back over these words written to my friend, I realize that that these words also speak to me and issues I have been dealing with in my own personal life on a different level. God sure does work in mysterious wonderful ways, does he not???




“Dear YYYYYYY,


Good for you on treating Beth so well. As for your vision ... These things, the 'gift of sight’ that you have, can be dual-edged sword. You have to be willing to acknowledge the influence of your own personal fears onto the projection of what you 'see', and in doing so you have to be willing to admit that what you are most likely sensing is your own personal reaction to a very possible outcome in your foreseeable future. On some level, your subconscious mind must think that you need to begin dealing with the possibility of XXXXX’s death on some level. You have to begin processing your fear of this possibility not because this will happen, but more likely because you deeply fear that it could happen and sub-consciously you don't think --given all of the other losses of loved ones in your life of late-- that you will be able to handle her death if and when it comes to pass.


If you start swallowing and digesting the eventual acceptance of the possibility of XXXXX’s death now, then you won't completely lose it if it does ever happen. The above being said, XXXXX needs you to be her rock right now! You are her anchor and you have got to push her to be strong and to fight to keep her hope, to keep going and to heal. I truly believe that a good 80 - 90% of healing takes place in the mind and the heart. Our spirits have to literally will our physical bodies to return to a state of balance and equilibrium. Without the will to live, our bodies will not heal and eventually they will begin to crumble. So YYYYYY, from this moment forward: I would suggest focusing on the HERE and NOW. Focus on XXXXX healing and finding her own inner peace. Make the most of every single minute you have together, because we are none of us promised a tomorrow. The one truth we all share is Death and eventually it will come for us all. The key, I think, is to be ready to meet Death when he comes for us --or those that we love-- by living a life worth living TODAY.  This means that we willfully choose to put our love, time and efforts where they will count the most and do the most good.


As I read over what I have written above, it occurs to me that maybe these were words that I needed to hear, for myself, as well. Anyhow, remember to keep your Faith and Hope. Let God’s eternal LOVE shore you up and don’t forget to PRAY!!   For, I truly believe in the power of prayer … Offer up what you can't handle to God . Just lay it at His feet and let Him carry it for you: AND HE WILL!


I will keep you and XXXX in my ongoing thoughts and prayers, YYYYYY. Hang in there, my dear friend!



Love,
Isabelle”

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Saying "Good-bye" to a Beloved Pet ...

Actually, I don't believe in "Good-bye" ... for me, it's "Until we meet again."

Sasha, our German Shepherd "puppy", passed away in her sleep last night. She suffered another stroke yesterday. We made her comfortable, and I just prayed that she would pass away peacefully in her sleep so that we would not have to bring her into the vet to have her put down. Last night at 3:49 a.m., while taking a break from my vigil, I felt the spirit of my playful puppy by my side at the computer ... wanting to be pet on the head and I knew then that she was gone.







The kids got to say goodbye last night, and I didn't tell them this morning that she was gone. I will tell them when they get back home from school.  They were teary-eyed of course, but they know that death is not the end.

Sasha was a great dog and she had a good life. She celebrated her 15th birthday this past February 23, 2011. She will be missed, but we know that death is not the end and that Sasha is in a happy place, without pain right now ... onto her next great adventure.  : )

Until we meet again, my sweet friend, Sasha ... You are loved! ♥

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Grandma Jeanne's Sunset with Shooting Star ...

Grandma Jeanne this is your sunset ... 6/12/2010 ... Bethany and I were watching it for you and we even (thanks to Bethany's great eyes) saw a shooting star zip across the horizon. Bethany made a wish for you ...
 
 
 
(Look for the shooting star to the top left of the big tree ...)



I think that just maybe ... that shooting star was you going back home ... Safe journey:  you are loved and you will be greatly missed!  Until we meet again ...


All Our Love,

Michelle & Bethany



P.S.  I've just been in a terrible overwhelming funk ... since my Grandmother's passing.  For some reason ... I just can't seem to shake it.  Vacation coming soon ... maybe that will help?  Until then, I just don't have it in me to write right now ... Until I find the words in me once me ... Peace and Love ... ~M/Isa

Monday, April 19, 2010

Water falls, You fall ... I fall?

... We all fall down ....


Waterfall, Puget Sound area, Washington State (United States)
(Copyright @April 2010 Michelle C. of whatplanetareyoulivingon.blogspot.com)



Yes, I ... we, my family ... did finally make our journey to visit the waterfalls yesterday as we had originally planned. I REALLY NEEDED to get out of the house after being cooped up for so long!!!

So you're probably dying to know:  DID I FALL INTO THE RIVER?  Nope. Sorry to disappoint, but I DID NOT fall in.   I may be a bit of a klutz, but I do have pretty good balance, especially when my three daughters (already a bit shaken by my recent illness and resulting surgery) are anxiously watching me from the observation deck.  The fact that I was also carrying my expensive camera and lenses seemed to have had a remarkable steadying effect as well.

Yes, it turned out to be a glorious day yesterday!  Just fabulous:  Not a rain drop, or cloud, in the sky.  Mother Nature must not have wanted to suffer my wrath after all? ; )  The sun was brightly shining. The sky was the most spectacular color of azure blue; it reminded me of the Mediterranean Sea (another glorious site to behold in person)and the sky was filled with airy, fluffy white, cotton-candy clouds.  You honestly, just couldn't have asked for a better day. The temperature started out around 69 deg. F, winding its way up to a balmy 74 deg. by the time we were headed back home.  So with such a perfect day in store, my family simply had to take advantage of the gorgeous weather by heading to out a nearby waterfall. This time the whole family went, despite some initial (futile) protests at the prospect of having to walk/hike an actual mile.

The hike turned out to only be a half mile each way, which was just about right for me given my recent inactivity post-surgery. Of course, once we had gotten down to to the viewing deck at the base of the falls, I just HAD to scale down the boulders and tree roots in order  to reach the actual river.  There were no good photos to be had from the observation deck, to my way of thinking anyway.   My youngest, Erynn, asks me "Mom, can't you read? The sign says, 'Please remain on observation deck.' "  I reply, "Yes, honey. Mommy can read, but I can also think for myself too and I need to get closer if I want to take any decent photographs."  Then I asked everyone, "Aren't you all coming with me?"  The girls just stood there adimantly shaking their heads. They weren't budging from the deck and I could tell that they really didn't want me to either.  Ken just shook his head.  Although, I could see the twinkle in his eyes; he really wanted to come too ... but instead, he graciously offered to stay with the girls, for me, so that I could get the photographs I wanted... Besides, he knew that there was no stopping me anyway.  

The sad thing is, not too long ago my girls would have eagerly climbed right down to the river's edge along with me (of course, I wouldn't have allowed them to do so if I did not feel that it was reasonably safe.).  But my daughters seem to have been profoundly shaken by my recent illness and surgery.  The extent of their fear did not fully hit me until yesterday, standing on that observation deck above the river.  I knew in that instant, standing upon the 'park sanctioned' observation deck above the river that I had to climb down to the river in order to show my daughters that I could make the climb, traverse the rocks below and be alright.  I had to do it --my wild and crazy zest for life aside-- if for no other reason than for my daughters.  And so I did climb down.



"Escaping Waters"
(Copyright @April 2010 Michelle C. of whatplanetareyoulivingon.blogspot.com)


The river water was flowing a lot faster than the last time that I had been to this river (over a year and a half ago) ... and the water level was much higher too, Still, I was able to make my way along the big river rocks and boulders without too much difficulty.  I found a good perch atop a giant log that had wedged itself solidly in between two mammoth boulders, right at the waters edge.  I could feel the cool misty spray of the energy-charged water as it hit the waterfall's bottom and then quickly sped on down toward the river proper, eager to make its escape.  You could feel the energy ... the Life ... emanating from the roaring water. Sitting right at waters edge (actually hanging out over it), hearing the falls echo in mighty roar ... being kissed by its tiny sprays of rain drops was just magnificent.  Talk about transporting your spirit to another place ... a place free from the ravages of time.  What a glorious place to be on such a perfect day! Food for the soul indeed.

So there I sat, perched like a tiny, fragile bird, atop the mammoth log ... I took in the exquisite beauty all around for awhile, waving to the girls and Ken on the observation deck above. Then I tried my best to take some photographs, but I wasn't going to get my hopes up.  A sunny, gorgeous day is NOT ideal for photgraphing moving water ... way too much reflection, too much light to allow for a longer exposure which produces the dreamy, ethereal water shots ... But I was here, so I would take some shots just to see what I could capture. I mean, you never know:sometimes, things align in the most unexpected ways to produce the most magnificent results. The only thing that is certain is that if you do not try : you are certain never to capture these elusive spectacular alignments ... serendipitous moments that all too quickly pass and disappear forever. And when you do happen to be there and you do happen to witness these spectacular moments ... alignments ... when  you are able capture them ... on film or just in your mind ... well, there is just no feeling quite like it ...



[You see ... I was not the lone crazy soul climbing amongst the rocks.  These two seem to be having a rather in-depth conversation ... hand gestures and all ... what an interesting tale one could spin from this photo, no?]


I took some ground level shots, next to the falls ... Then, I ventured on further down the river to see if I could get some decent river shots,even though it was obvious that there just was way too much sunlight.  Still, it was fun to climb amongst the rocks and boulders.  I felt like I was 12 years again!! It was awesome!!! =) I've always loved to climb ... I did, however, resist the temptation to fling off my shoes and jump right into the surging river water.  The water was moving way too fast this visit and I didn't want to push it so soon after surgery. I also did not want to alarm my daughters.  They would probably would probably have read me the riot-act for doing so, and Ken probably would have secretly upped my pain-meds in an effort to sedate me, thereby curbing my "recklessness" and disrespect for the whole "healing process."  But thank goodness for cell phones.  The observation deck was a good ways above the river's edge, so the girls soon lost sight of me climbing among the rocks and boulders below.  A quick phone call (thanks to AT&T's awesome coverage) and the girl's were reassured that Mom was just fine.  : )

It was a good day!!  Refreshing change of pace ... and we did eventually manage to persuade the girls to climb down onto some rocks a bit farther from the falls, where the water was much slower flowing--near the trail head where the climb down was not as steep.  So Lauren, Bethany, and Erynn did go down to the water's edge.  That makes me happy that they conquered their fear on some small level.  I realize now, though, that I need to have a more grown-up talk with the girls about death.  I've always let them know ... in stories and such ... that death is not the end to my way of thinking, but now that the girls are older and more aware of death's presence in their own lives: it may be time to elaborate and expand upon the discussion a bit further. I guess, loosing a pet is not the same as the fear of potentially loosing a parent ... not that I'm going anywhere anytime soon: I feel great. I am stronger than I have been in ages, thanks to this surgery ... and I am getting stronger everyday. Besides, Ken predicts that "I will outlive him by many, many years and dance merrily upon his grave when he is dead and gone." (his exact words ... not mine!).



"Too Bright!"


As for my waterfall and moving water photos ... well, they were not stellar photos overall, but given the bright sunny day, I had fully anticipated this outcome. Thus, I was not too disappointed.  Still, a few of my shots aligned somewhat. I have posted the best of the photos that did turn out halfway decent here in this post. I am not sure there are any photos that will warrant posting to my Flickr Photos page? ... But I'll make that call after I finish going through all of my photographs. I think that I need to return to these falls someday, in the early, early morning and try again.  Also need to invest in some lens filters (e.g., neutral density) as my camera's lowest ISO setting is 200 ... and everything that I have read says it is best to use an ISO in the range of 50 to 100 for best results when photographing water. Well, it's a learning process, right? And I AM having FUN in the process. In the end, that's what really matters.


Hope that you and yours had an awesome weekend as well!  Peace ...


-M


(Copyright @April 2010 Michelle C. of whatplanetareyoulivingon.blogspot.com)






(Copyright @April 2010 Michelle C. of whatplanetareyoulivingon.blogspot.com)



... No song, yet ... can't think of one today ... any suggestions?

4/20/2010 ... Thank you for your song suggestion 'anonymous'.  I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to comment.  I'll have a listen to your song and see if it fits with my mood ... (subject to change on a whim ; ) ... Joyful day to you!  : ) : ) : )



... After much thought ... this song just seemed to flow better with the subject matter ....



Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Created by Zombie Cheerleader on Apr 20, 2010
Waterfalls ... cascades of thoughts ... hopes ... and dreams ... coming to fruition in the river of life ...


P.S.   I decided to go ahead and put these photos into a flickr album afterall ... just as a baseline of my photographic journey ... experiment ... into capturing moving water ....  http://www.flickr.com/photos/isas_fallingstar/sets/72157623774705093/  ... there may be one or two that aren't posted here?

Friday, December 04, 2009

On Mortality ... Aging and Death



'The Temple of the Mind', By William Pinkham Ryder
(Image Courtesy of ArtMagick.com)


A friend of my says that he is "being forced to reconcile my own mortality."

He recalls, as he watches his father lie in a hospital bed and struggle with recovering from cancer surgery, that "not too long ago he was my age." My friend's illusion of "always being 17" is beginning to crumble.

It IS hard to watch someone that you love suffer and grow old. My paternal grandmother, Dorothy Jeanne, turned 90 this year. She's always been a feisty, independent woman. I've always admired her spirit and sense of adventure. She's been a very important role model, of sorts, for me ... but I hear, in her voice, as we talk these days (on the phone) the tiredness and the frailty setting in. At first, it made me sad to see this remarkable woman begin to fade and slowly slip away. But then, she'll recall some amazing little detail of a time long since past ... something that I, myself, had almost forgotten ... and in that moment I am reminded that the body is but a vessel to house the soul and the mind.  The body is but ours to borrow during this brief journey called life. And though the body may change, eventually growing old and slowly beginning to fade away ... I firmly believe that the mind and soul are eternal.

I take particular comfort in this saying of Jesus:

"And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

—Mark 10:13-16



'Innoncence'



As we age and our bodies begin to fail, we re-enter that state of child-like innocence and dependence ... and maybe it is that very state that makes us worthy to at last enter the kingdom of heaven ... or whatever you happen to believe in.

Eastern philosophy holds that we should not mourn aging and death. Decay of the body is a natural state. Rather, we should mourn when a soul is born; for life is the hard part. Death is a life's --well led -- reward.

Take heart, Paul. Age IS a state of mind. Some are old at twenty.  Some never grow up. Some are born middle aged ... others, in middle age, are given a chance at rebirth and begin seeing life for all of its infinite possibilities and in doing so, they become wild and free (child-like) and remember how to just be. Close your eyes, Paul, take a deep breath and just be ... the rest will come to you in due time.

May peace fill your heart and light your way.  Enjoy your time this weekend with the precious lights of your life.  : )

God Bless!
M

Song: 'With Arms Wide Open', By Creed


P.S. I am so relieved to hear that your father's prognosis is good and that he is out of the ICU.  I will keep praying for you both.