Sunday, January 06, 2013

Abandoned Russian Fort ....

I’ve had excruciating headaches these last several weeks. Finally had a catscan performed and found the root of the problem, so I’m on the mend now. I have hope that the headaches will recede all-together in the near future. At one point the pain was so bad, and the pain medication just wasn’t helping much … and sleep with a monster headache is just about impossible, unless it is a powerful drug-induced sleep. I was taking some opium derivative for pain at the time and it made me sleepy most of the time when the pain was not too intense, but when the pain hit maximum overload all bets were OFF!! My significant other is not a night owl. He starts to shut down around 9 p.m. each night and he literally shuts down. He just can’t stay up, so I became used to being up alone … sometimes afraid, sometimes in pain a long time ago.

"Abandoned Russian Fort"
@Copyrighted Photograph, 2012.  All Rights Reserved:  Isabelle Black Smith.

Well one night, late at night/early morning, about a two weeks before Christmas the pain was so bad … I just didn’t know what to do? I had thoughts about seriously hurting myself just to make the pain stop. For some reason music seems to soothe me when I am hurting, so I went on-line and started listening to songs on Spotify that felt like “home” to me … mostly 70’s era and Jimi Hendrix and I noticed as I listened that the green dot of dear friend --also on-line-- appeared. I couldn’t text or chat with my friend because my head just hurt too bad to think, but I could close my eyes, sinking back into a comfy chair with my feet up and listen to my music … and somehow, every time I opened my eyes the green dot of my friend was still there, right there with me. It was almost like having my friend right there with me, holding my hand, in my time of need … so that I was not alone after all. Anyhow, just thought I’d leave this here to let them know how much their presence that night meant to me.  Hard to say something like this in person and not have someone think you are nuts?  Maybe this was just the universe reaching out to comfort me .... payback for all of my many hours spent in prayer on behalf of others?

Peace & Much Love,


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